Mar 17

Movie March – Kick-Heart

This is where Kick-Ass ends up in a few decades

I once had an argument over whether short movies could be called that. If its only 15 minutes long, then it’s hardly a film, at least to my reasoning. Certainly in anime terms you’d usually brand such productions as OVAs or ONAs. For those wondering where this ramble is going, today’s Movie March film, Kick-Heart, clocks in at under 13 minutes. Heck, the making of documentary with it is twice that. Coming from the mind of Maasaki Yuusa, creator of popular shows like Tatami Galaxy and Kaiba, along with Ping Pong which starts airing next season, and with the support of several thousand Kickstarter backers, this was something people wanted made. But was the end result short and sweet, or just a flash in the pan?

Too many drugs

The plot, as you may have gathered from the length, is really simple. There is a guy wrestler, Romeo, or Maskman M to use his in-ring name, and there is a girl wrestler, called Lady S. Through wrestling, he falls for her, and the two end up having a match. There’s also a subplot where he’s masquerading as a CEO to a church of kids to win their favour for… some reason… I guess he lives there.

There’s no character development or meaningful narrative, instead the whole thing is supposedly a metaphor for pain and pleasure. The pain coming from… well, its wrestling, you guess, and pleasure from… well, she’s a female wrestler, you guess that too. This film isn’t trying to be subtle about anything, so I assume the M in his name stands for masochist.

Probably the single funny line in the entire film

With the plot being little more than a basic framework then, surely this is here to be an animated piece that furthers the field, then. Well… its unique, I’ll give it that. Certainly the opening titles were cool and stylised and if the movie had stayed like that it’d all be fine, but… well…

From this…

…to this

This is no looker. Frankly, I can name uni students who’ve done a better job on their lonesome than the work Production IG did for this. It looks ugly as sin, and while it’s not enough to truly turn you off from watching, it’s not far away.

Moving onto something more positive, the audio is good. Considering half the making of footage is dedicated to it (when it’s not filming people feeding seagulls… yes really) you’d hope so, but certainly for the Japanese track both the music and vocals nail it, succeeding in creating the tortuously arousing vibe the piece wants. Sadly I can’t say the same of the dub, featuring a group of Kickstarter backers whom are mostly awful, though credit to Lady S’s casting choice of Natalie Hoover, whom as a professional VA does provide one good voice to latch onto.

I wish I knew

There’s little else to say. The film wraps itself up well enough, and is certainly short enough to not grate, but that seems irrelevant when the end product is mostly garbage. It looks bad, there’s no reason to care about any of the characters, the humour is of the acid trip variety and if I really wanted to bitch about one thing…

[vincemcmahon] WHAT A MANEUVER [/vincemcmahon]

…they have a rope break in a No Holds Barred match. That’s not how wrestling works guys. So no, I don’t like it, but hey, its 13 minutes, maybe this is right up others streets, I certainly seem to have one of the most negative opinions on it around.


We’re on some kind of an updating roll! Got a request of a movie you’d like to see featured? Or maybe you want to write an article yourself? Then get in with touch with myself, Reaf or one of the committee. Or you could tweet us, or write on the Facebook, or post on the forums! Otherwise its Sean having free reign and it’s just a never ending torrent of Kara no Kyoukai films…